Those uncomfortable feelings I was hiding inside for decades were eating me up. But why didn't I do anything about it sooner? Thank god I kept searching for answers.
Single for 11 years, lonely and depressed, I put on a brave face for over 30 years.
After all I "had to be a man" didn't I?
What a load of B.S. But that's what society thinks we should be doing.
Well, society and the opinions of others don't mean a thing when you are connected to the truth. As they say "The truth shall set you free".
But there's a guarantee, if you do nothing, you get nothing.
Darren & Ninin
Now that I am happily married years later and have done so much personal development, I've put all those opinions of society and others aside. It's constant work, but it sure as hell is worth it.
But in the early days I felt so uncomfortably "different" growing up. Now I feel fantastic to be different - from the pack. Fact is though, I'm just being my true self and feels great. Others can just follow the pack and be part of the machine, we all have a choice.
It's taken some work and getting out of my comfort zone a lot, but as human beings we are not happy if we are not growing, so onwards I go.
So after having therapy for my 30 years of depression and then training in it, this led me to a fantastic voyage (it's never ending by the way) on the study of human behaviour, the human mind, personal development and helping others.
Now I get to share it with others and I love it.
So, one of my lowest times was when I was in a foetal position in the bottom of my shower, bawling my eyes out feeling so helpless and hopeless and so afraid of telling anyone.
I have a beautiful loving family and some great friends. What was I thinking?
The biggest decision I made was recognising that I had a problem that needed fixing, the next was actually doing something about it.
And now after all my searching, I have a huge vision to make a difference in the lives of others.
So keep searching people, it's worth it.